Reflection brings me towards the thought, that it's not a pretty face or affection that I crave but rather consistency. Consistency of thoughts, consistency of emotions and hopefully corresponding actions that back up the thoughts and emotions. It's disheartening to hear certain things from individuals, to get excited, to evoke emotion within to then see the actions completely contradict what was said. You want to spend time with me, then make an effort. I will gladly grant time to individuals that want to spend time with me, that want to bring positive experiences in my life. I will drive to have those experiences, I will make time to have those experiences and most likely I will cherish those experiences. You think you made a huge mistake in your life then progress and fix it. I am so overwhelmed with the what if's of every day life, so tired of the I want to do this, then make a plan and do it. Stop talking incessantly about the things you could accomplish if only, stop living your life stuck in a series of prepositions. Contradictory to school house rocks, and, but and or do not get you really far. I want people in my life, friendships, relationships, intimacy that have a drive and that put effort into their lives and the lives of those they impact to make things better, to constantly progress or at least to constantly learn. I don't want to feel restrained, I don't want to think I could've done that if I weren't so focused on x,y,z; I just want to do things and then come to a conclusion on whether to do it again or to mark it as something that's been done.
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